Franco......Party of Five

Where are the Franco's

2009-08-29T09:55:00.002-04:00

The summer has flown by. We haven't blogged at all. What have we done all summer you ask? Time for a quick update ! It has not been a great summer for us. I dont mean to sound negative. My mother always said if you dont have anything nice to say....dont say anything at all! Our summer usually kicks off when school ends the last week of June. The first week of July was When Tori and Bella both had swine flu. Tori was VERY sick and both John and I were very worried about her. She had a fever at times of 105.5! It ended up with her having pneumonia and a very bad ear infection. So the kids being sick consumed the first few weeks of our summer. Up next was to get ready for vacation. The day before we were supposed to leave a big lightening bolt knocked out our cable, phone and computer. ( so happy I have cable's triple play! ) That night hubby came home from work feeling so ill he felt he needed an ambulance. Too bad we had no phone! He had a bad attack of vertigo which delayed our trip by a day. The medication they gave him at the hospital made him so tired we could not travel. Which was just as well since all our travel plans were in my computer! We finally left on Sunday and had tire trouble in Virginia! Our summer luck has not been so good. That dark cloud won't budge! Vacation in the Smokey Mountains was very nice! We had a good time with Tori's adoption group. I LOVED seeing the girls! On the way home from vacation we learned of a VERY TRAGIC event occuring in our extended family. Nothing I feel like blogging about but it rocked my world and time just stood still. My world stopped! I am finally feeling better and back to my self ( slightly) . I hope fall finds me being a better blogging friend. Plus I am in the midst of an affair with facebook. I love chatting with friends, playing games, taking ridiculous quizzes, and seeing old friends! I m going to post some smokey mountain pictures......and a more detailed post about our vacation in TN! Maybe tomorrow!

Living with ADHD

2009-06-21T09:39:00.004-04:00

I noticed recently that I often don't blog about John Jr. When John came to us 2 1/2 years ago our lives went into a tail spin. Many people say "that's a boy for you" or "your not used to boys" but it was so much more than that. John has from day one been mischievous, and we always say his cuteness is his saving grace! I can also remember the pediatrician early on talking about ADHD medications. I always blew him off on that topic. After all, I thought, John came to us after having lived in an orphanage for 2 or 3 years depending on when his birthday really is. Of course, he will have more to overcome. I cut him ALOT of slack.

As time went on.....things got worse. His behavior was TERRIBLE! Having two other children in the house...I couldn't let things go. I firmly believed I could love this boy enough to undo years of mistreatment in China. Well that didn't happen. Along with not listening came being defiant and shutting down totally. He would cross his arms and turn his head and he was done listening! I also thought eventually he will be tired of being sent to his room...wrong again! Although medical testing CLEARLY proves his birthdate is a year off.....even a 4.5 year old boy needs to have boundaries and rules. These are 2 things he could not do.

But since his birth certificate says he is 5.5 we enrolled him in the elementary school's pre- k program. Not ideal since it put him in Bella's class! Soon after he started school I started getting reports that he would spend all day being reprimanded and in time out....this breaks my heart!

John gets many pre school services: Speech, vision therapy, occupational therapy and physical therapy. At his annual meeting the discussion focused around whether or not he would need an aid in kindergarten. I felt so sad for him. Sad and frustrated all at the same time. His behavior at home was awful, his behavior at school was awful, he has been unable to make friends because he can not attend to ANY activity and he is always touching people...pulling on their shirts, touching their hair...He was very sensory!

Last month we had an appointment with a Neurologist. John was all over the office and the Dr could not examine him. John makes good eye contact and does interact socially....so he is not autistic. The doctor did note he does have many autistic tendencies though. He occasionally flaps and he does this thing where he shakes his body as if he is trying to pull himself together. No surprise that the doctor gave me an RX for ADHD medication. I came out of that office feeling like a total failure as a mother. Why could I not help him with out drugs. I changed his diet, I don't give him the dreaded high fructose corn syrup, I limit his sugar, food coloring, nitrates and anything else I think might contribute to his behavior.

I reluctantly gave him the first dose of medication on a Friday morning. On the way to school he was kicking my seat ( which I hate) and I said John...STOP! well he started to cry and then he said " mommy I sorry I do bad things everyday....you still love me?" I actually had to stop the car .I ended up keeping him home that day. As the days went on, I noticed he had not been punished in days. He had ALL THIS KNOWLEDGE that we did not know about. He knows his phone number, his address, The city where John works and what he does. He knew the days of the week and what day it was. He went from scribbling his name where it was illedgible to writing John perfectly. He stopped touching people, he is able to play. He does 100 piece jig saw puzzles for hours. He can complete a task. He is still my goofy, silly boy with a hearty belly laugh and if he does something he shouldn't...A simple John...dont so that which he responds...ok mom!

HE SITS ON MY LAP AND WATCHES TV. That is something we never shared. He is not a cuddle bug like the girls and truthfully he could not sit still. He has not gotten so much as a warning at school and the teacher says he knows every rule and tries to follow it! My son has a quality to his life that he did not have before and for this I thank God every day. I know the jury is still out on medicating children for ADHD. But I am so at peace with my decision. It is certainly made a world of difference to my little boy!

If you made it to the end....you do not have ADHD! I have not been blogging because we have been busy...I will try not to be such a stinky blogger!

Happy Birthday Bella!!!

2009-05-25T12:43:00.002-04:00

Bella had a wonderful party. I am so happy for her. The weather was good. She celebrated with all her friends and wore a huge grin all day. The clown was very funny and entertaining. We are exhausted today after having a party with 25 kids! That was a pretty big cake and not a slice left!! Happy Birthday my beautiful girlie! Her actual birthday is the 29th! Next week end we will be going to Long Island to celebrate her birthday again with my family!

Happy Mothers Day!

2009-05-11T21:03:00.003-04:00

I had a very wonderful mother's day. Each child made a beautiful project in school and John treated me very special all day. Tori's card sure made me cry....but not for the reason you think!

I tried really hard not to laugh because she was beaming with pride. But really.....a horse

Happy Easter!

2009-04-13T13:29:00.002-04:00

It's me...the bad blogger. I know I have been a crappy blogger and I will try to improve my blogging habits. For now....as an apology of sorts...how about some pictures??

Our Daisy Scout..Tori

2009-02-25T21:18:00.002-05:00

Today Victoria became an official Daisy Girl Scout. Of course I got all choked up when she took her pledge! She was so proud to recieve her Daisy vest. Bella is home with Strept throat so she missed the ceremony. We took plenty of pictures so her brother and sister at home could see her become a scout! Luckily it is too late to sell Girl Scout cookies.....I am happy about that!

How Do I Help Her?

2009-02-06T11:07:00.008-05:00

When I look at pictures of Bella, her beauty catches me off guard. She has a heart shaped face and beautiful features! But deep down inside she has a hurt, she came to us with it and at times I think it is healed ...until it rears it's head again. I've said before, that I am certain Bella experienced some form of abuse/neglect before she came to us. When she came home she was just a shell of a girl. I remember the doctor saying that she thought Bella was a failure to thrive baby. Bella came to us totally shut down. Whether it was physical or mental I don't know. What ever happened in China is locked deep inside somewhere. Could it be the trauma of being abandoned at birth? I don't think that is it. I can remember trying to cuddle her and I could feel her stiffen. She would never let me hold her bottle. She would rather starve! I rocked her to sleep for over a year with out ever getting an ounce of affection from her. It was so hard for me to bond to her. I was doing all the work and getting nothing in return. I tried EVERYTHING the attachment therapist recommended, everything the play therapist recommended and we didn't get much in return. In addition, she was non verbal for a long time. I remember asking the speech therapist if Bella would ever speak. At one point when Bella was 3 she was getting speech therapy, play therapy, attachment therapy, occupational therapy and special education services. I can remember going to China to pick up John Jr. I missed Bella SO MUCH. I could not wait to get home to see her and she totally snubbed me at the airport. I remember feeling so hurt and wondering if she would ever love me. Well.......the mother warrior in me never let me give up. I did so much praying. I remember that I would receive Holy Communion in church and come back to my seat and cry. I would just pray for Bella to make some kind of break through. I also felt like an incredible failure as a parent! I would rock Bella to sleep and whisper how proud I was to be her mother and how much I loved her and she would stare blankly at the floor.

Present day.......I can't tell you exactly when Bella and I bonded as mother and daughter. But it did finally happen. Bella got a string of illnesses and through the process of caring for her when she was sick...the bonding came . Up until that point Bella had never gotten sick. She had nary a sniffle for almost 2 years. The pediatrician felt she was so stressed......still.....that her little body stayed in "fight or flight"mode and she never let her guard down! That caused her to not be sick. All of sudden I felt the difference in our relationship and she spent the next month being sick! She practically laid on my lap for a month. From that moment on......she is SO ATTACHED that she is always by my side or on my lap or in my bed sleeping on top of me. Bella is almost 5 and still loves being rocked to sleep on my lap. I can tell you that Bella loves me and John with all her being. If she steps on my toe and i say ouch....she breaks down in tears...big tears....remorseful tears. She loves me in a way that makes my heart swell. Bella is now expressive of her love for me and I believe no one has ever loved me as much as Bella. When she climbs into bed with us at night, she will stare in my face until I open my eyes and when I do she gets this huge grin on her face!

However, at 4 yrs old( almost 5 ) it is time for her to spread those tiny wings...a little. Or is it? She is having difficulty in school. Even though she is gone only 3 hours....she is struggling. Today, her teacher called to tell me that she is melting down in class and crying for me. Both teachers have been unable to quiet her down. She just wants her mommy. She doesn't want to go to school, she says she just misses me so much. How do I help her? It took 4 years to convince her I'd always be there and I feel like I'm letting her down. I asked her today what was going on and she said " why do you send me away everyday....I just want you" . My eyes filled up with water and I didn't have a good answer. I have spent years talking her through the fact that I will always be there for her. I cant stand to watch my baby suffer. The school doesn't want me to come pick her up and I don't want her feeling abandoned by me. She often wakes up crying for me in the night and when I ask what is wrong she says she doesn't want to go to school. I am so confused. She has been in pre school 6 months and I thought she would have adjusted by now. I am so tempted to just with draw her from preschool. I am struggling with this decision!

Xin Nian Kuai Le

2009-02-03T08:59:00.002-05:00

Happy New Year !! Today is the day we are celebrating the Chinese New Year. Usually, I make a big deal out of it and the kids are just along for the ride. So this year I toned it down slightly. Well, Dont you know that this year the kids are very into the new year. I am very happy about that too. For 2 years in a row it seemed Tori was not very happy that she was different. She was almost uncomfortable at times. Well....no more. She PROUDLY wore her Chinese outfit to school. The kids made all the red envelopes themselves. All the kids helped make moon cakes and decorations. We will be doing a Chinese New Year craft at Girl Scouts (daisies) today. Since Tori sets the tone for Bella and John I am glad she is embracing who she is and where she comes from. Bella and John follow Tori's lead. They can not even pick out a condiment for a hotdog without say so from Tori! The girls looked beautiful today and were very excited to get to school with their treats! I am proud of my children as always. Today I am proud of John and I. I saw traits in Tori and Bella today at school that came from us. They were proud of who they were and where they came from and we have instilled that in them. Tori's teacher told me that Tori taught the class about New Year traditions and then read them the book "D is for Dragon Dance!

The New Me!

2009-01-28T21:12:00.002-05:00

Today while I was talking to my sister on the phone, she mentioned that she went thru my whole blog and did not see one picture of me. I purposely take the pictures so I dont have to be in them! I have never been comfortable getting a picture taken because of my "weight"...there.. I SAID IT.

The problem I am having now is that when I look at myself, I still see the same person. I have lost 55 pounds and can still wear some of the same clothes! I just don't get it. People ask if I feel "better" ...actually...the answer is no. I am very hard on myself. I have lost 55 pounds and beat my self up because I am not down more.

maybe some of the changes have to come from the inside. I go to a weight loss support group and Dr. Bob always says thin wont make you happy. I FINALLY get it! I have to change the way I see myself.

So with that in mind....I am posting a few pictures. The first two are obviously before and they are the pictures that I was looking at when I decided to get the lap band. The third one was taken today. This is what 55 pounds less looks like!

Franco Family Update

2009-01-19T22:25:00.002-05:00

Well...hard to imagine January is almost over and this is my first update of the New Year. The year has started on a rough note and I'm hoping this is not an indicator of what 2009 has in store. John's mom is not doing well. She is 93 years old. Helping prepare the kids to say good bye has been tough. The kids know she is sick and that she may be going to Heaven. Tori takes these things to heart. She is very sad about the current situation. She is also looking ahead and fearing that she may have to say good bye to John and I someday. How do you explain all this to a smart 6 year old? Next up...Tori. She had been sick to start the new year and then developed a rash which the pediatrician thought was Fifth's disease. Which once the rash comes out they are usually fine. It continued to get worse and when she woke up Friday she was so swollen her eyes hurt. Off to the doctor to find out she was having a major allergic reaction to something. We are still not sure what and we will investigate after she is clear. In the meantime, tomorrow will be a week since she first developed the rash and although better she is still breaking out. The doctor said she came very close to being hospitalized! That was Friday, so Friday night I had her sleep with me. Only to be awakened by John Jr in terrible stomach pain and vomiting all over the house! He has had these episodes before but never as severe as this one. Poor little thing could not walk he was in so much pain. He managed to deplete his body of all fluid very quickly and needed to be hospitalized for 2 days to rehydrate. We are now home and will start looking for causes to these episodes. So.....how is your 2009 so far?

When Your Heart Finds Christmas

2008-12-18T22:52:00.002-05:00

Every year as the week before Christmas approaches........I find myself crazy with worry and anxiety about what I have done and bought and what I didn't buy and do I have enough for the kids, John, family...etc. This year is very different for me. I think I am in a different place than ever before. I don't think it is because I lost 50 pounds. I am not sure what it is. I am finding this year that I am enjoying what Christmas is all about. I can look at all the blessings in my life and feel really content. I think part of the difference is my deepening faith. The more connected I am to God the better all other parts of my life become. I am so in love with my husband and I am thankful that he is such a huge supporter of what ever I do. He is now and always has been my biggest cheerleader. I have been so blessed to have 3 children. Each unique and different and each holds a piece of my heart in the palm of their hands. Often times I feel people feel sorry for me because I never had biological children. I say .....DONT! I feel abundantly blessed to be called mama by each one of them. Don't think I don't see myself in each of them because you would be wrong! I do see myself ...in their thoughts, their actions, their words, their tenderness, their love. Maybe other can't see it....but I can. I am thankful that I am in a good place with my brothers and sisters.....all of them...at the same time. That is a "Christmas Miracle". Over the past five years we have made many new friends..not acquaintances.....friends. People we met doing our 3 adoptions. Some I only know on line and some I know personally. I cant begin to tell you how much these people matter to me. We follow each others blogs, we write comments to them, we talk about the ups and downs of adopting children. I can t tell you how much these people matter. One in particular, I wont mention names ( but she is still younger than "most planets"), is so near to my heart and I am so blessed to call her a friend! How lucky am I to have such a relationship? I am thankful that we have gotten so close this year and I feel our friendship will continue to grow over the years That's what I am thankful for this year. I don't care about presents, or material things. I am celebrating life. Mine and His! I am so happy that the kids are getting it too, they know what Christmas is all about. Of course they are excited about presents too, but they know what Christmas means and they know that we are preparing to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ . Years from now, I want to read this post and remember the feeling in my heart this year. If you are reading this, I hope you find yourself with Christmas spirit in your heart!

Reason To Celebrate

2008-12-13T08:02:00.003-05:00

I am celebrating my own accomplishment here! I hit the 50 pound mark in my weight loss journey. I have struggled along the way and I truthfully thought at times "oh forget it" but I am on a journey and I have to keep moving forward. I was hoping to reach this milestone by Thanksgiving and was not too happy about about not accomplishing it. A little too much pie, cake and cookies! I got right back on track and here I am.

My Three Christmas Chef's

2008-12-11T19:39:00.002-05:00

Here is a preview of our Christmas card......are they cute or what!

The First Visit With Santa

2008-11-22T21:19:00.002-05:00

Today was the church bazaar. I was quite " surprised" to find Santa and Mrs. Claus! It is the first of many visits Im sure. What surprised me was my childrens level of "naughtiness" right in front of Santa Claus. We visited for a few minutes and as we were departing Santa commented that he could see who the naughty one in the group was! How he could tell after 2 minutes with my son was amazing!

The Mom Song

2008-11-17T08:39:00.002-05:00

I am pretty sure I could have written this song. I certainly says these words often enough. http://vimeo.com/1509073

Totally Tori

2008-11-15T18:07:00.003-05:00

I am dedicating this post to Tori. Tori turned six last month. I can not imagine my life before her. She brings so much pleasure and joy to our whole family. She is bright, energetic, and loves adult company. Adults usually enjoy being around her too! She is very studious and takes her school work very serious. Monday is her report card and I have no doubt she is excelling. She just learned to read and is doing a good job with reading and writing. She likes to write letters and just spells things phonetically as you can see in the letter she wrote me! She makes John and I proud everyday.

Happy Halloween

2008-10-31T21:35:00.003-04:00

Happy Halloween!! Rather than going door to door looking for treats, the church sponsored a " trunk or treating" event. The local market let them use their parking lot and everybody that was participating decorated the trunk of their car and then stood beside their trunk as the kids went from car to car! The parking lot was closed off so it was really safe for the kids. The people giving out candy were all people we know and the kids had an AWESOME time. It was actually really fun for the parents too! The people giving out the candy were so into the spirit of things and a great time was had by all

2008-10-29T20:53:00.002-04:00

What is this picture of this winter wonderland? Well......it is what was happening yesterday! Although I am usually an avid weather follower, this storm caught me off guard and unprepared!

How beautiful did it look though? I love snow storms. I love being snowed in with John and the kids, I love baking when it's snowing, I love making the kids hot chocolate and I love staying in our P.J's all day. None of this was possible yesterday. The kids had a snow day, but we had no power, no phone, no heat and no water! Luckily when John came home he was ablke to hook us up to a generator so we had light, HEAT and a refrigerator. The wind was howling ,trees were falling and it was a nasty storm! But we do live in upstate NY and snow is a part of life here.

Pre Christmas

2008-10-25T20:17:00.002-04:00

We are doing a fantasy picture for our Christmas card. So I needed to take somew pictures of the kids for the photographer. I know it's early.....please don't stone me. But the pictures are cute and I wanted to share them! Lori..I know Ive been tagged as soon as I can figure out how to "link" I will do it. I have an insert link icon but it doesn't work. Oh Yeah...thanks!!

I'm Back.......

2008-10-15T11:58:00.002-04:00

What's new with the Franco's? We have been very very busy. There has been no time for blogging or pictures but hopefully things are calming down! John's mom has been very ill. We found out last week she was in the cardiac intensive care unit. She is 93. Our families live on Long Island which is about 3-4 hours from us. So John made a trip down there mid week and the kids and I went down the end of the week. She is improving and we are thankful for that. This is my children's only grandparent. Tori turned 6 on October 8th. It seems lately that the kid's birthdays go from one day to a week long celebration by the time we finish seeing everybody. Tori had cake at her birthday party, a treat on her actual birthday in her class, a special dessert that night at home, followed by 3 cakes with relatives. My first baby turned 6...seems like I was just bringing her home! Bella has been busy with gymnastics. She really enjoys it and is quite good at it. It is hard for her because she is in a class with children 2 years older than her. She is small compared to them and she doesnt always follow directions.....Bella.....not follow directions?........OH YES! Little John is thankful to have mommy to himself for 3 hours a day now. he is busy with speech, physical therapy, occupational therapy and soon vision therapy. He is still working very hard to overcome these delays! Big John is working very hard. He has had few days off and he is the hardest working man I know. He loves his family and would do anything for any of us. Ok now me....Well the biggest thing continues to be my journey of getting healthy and losing weight. It is a daily struggle. Eating and emotions are so intertwined. I am happy with the decision I made but it is still difficult! I am down 42 pounds and am very proud of my accomplishment! my goal is 50 pound by Christmas. Of course, I will take more but That was the first goal I set for myself. You made it to the end!! Thats it in a nutshell. I am hoping to get around to pictures soon!

Bella Does Gymnastics

2008-09-23T22:21:00.002-04:00

A couple of months ago Isabella started doing cartwheels on the lawn. REALLY good cartwheels. I questioned her several times about how she learned this. Apparently there is an episode of Dragon Tales where Emme has to cartwheel over the ogre's bridge. I think The dragons teach her how. This was all Bella needed! So she started gymnastics yesterday. It's always nice when your children find their talent on their own. John took her to class yesterday. She was put in a class with 3 and 4 year olds. After one class the instructor moved her to a class with 5 and 6 year olds! How cool is that? especially since she just turned 4 in May. John took these pictures with his cell phone so they are kind of small. Bella we are so proud of you! Of course John reports that Bella sometimes is more interested in socializing. Im glad she is having fun and Im glad that she has found something that is all hers.

Chipping away at...............

2008-09-12T18:41:00.003-04:00

Working hard staying focused on being healthy. Today I went back to regular food.....soft/mushy. It tasted really good. Ready for the good news......I am down 32 pounds and it feels really good to say that! Lets see how it goes for the next 2 weeks.......

Just Pictures

2008-09-10T19:51:00.004-04:00

Trying To Catch A Butterfly

2008-09-08T08:20:00.001-04:00

Child Proofing

2008-09-07T14:04:00.002-04:00

My First Grade and My Pre-K Girls

2008-09-05T06:36:00.003-04:00

Getting Ready For School

2008-09-05T06:28:00.003-04:00

The girls getting ready for school and little John just becuase he is adorable!

Meet My New Lap Band & Surgery Update!

2008-09-02T15:24:00.005-04:00

This is what my shiny new lap band looks like! It is a wonderful tool and I am looking forward to finally shedding these unwanted pounds!

Surgery Update: I am feeling good. I had my surgery on Thursday and quite frankly I was in a LOT of pain post-op. My surgeon said I could spend the night in the hospital and have access to better pain control. I chose less pain control and more love from my husband and kids! No medication could take the place of snuggling next to my husband when I am sick. The pain has decreased everyday and today I am feeling borderline good. I rested all weekend and it did a world of good. From Thursday until this morning I was allowed water and crystal light........3 oz per hour.....small sips. Today I progressed to protein shakes. Three shakes per day for two weeks and fluids.....water, diet ice tea, coffee, crystal light. The liquid helps the stomach to heal!

In two weeks I will advance to soft mushy foods and then 2 weeks later I will be on a regular diet. They will adjust the lap band a that time and that will control my hunger!

I want to use this post to thank certain people. This was a MONUMENTAL decision and I could not have made it through with out help and support. SO If you prayed or sent me an email....thank you from the bottom of my heart! I so needed your support.

John.....You are my very best friend and my biggest fan. I feel your love always and you helped me make this happen and I love you more than words could say! No matter how much I weigh you have made me feel beautiful to you and I am anxious to go through this process with you!

Laurie....With out you taking care of my kids I could not have done this. I knew my kids were in the best hands possible and that was huge to me! I am so thankful we are friends. You are always there for me.

Denise and Joanne.....Thank you for your care and worry. I know we were taught not to show our emotion but I love you both so much. I'm glad we are sisters

Stacey...You are such a good friend even from far away. I know you love me and the feeling is mutual...I think your right maybe we are sisters! John and I laughed SO HARD over that card I almost popped my staples out. It was so appropriate too! I couldn't think of anyone else I'd rather do Hunan with on a hot 120 degree day with two screaming infants!!

Alynn....When I was feeling scared and doubtful the day before surgery...I opened your email and it made me cry. I can never thank you enough for your kind words. I wish you lived closer! Thanks for your prayers .....and thanks for being such an awesome scrabble opponent!

Sharie,Sherrie, Jill, Lori W and Linda...Thank you all for writing and checking on me your prayers and messages meant alot to me. Lori and Jill....I never even met you in person but I feel fortunate to have you as bloggity buddies!

I feel really fortunate to have such a great support system. As I said this was a monumental thing for me.

I put a little weight ticker on my blog. I want to lose 100 pounds. OR.........5-20 pound turkeys!

The surgeon put me on a pre-op diet and since i first weighed in with him on 6-11-08 I am down 24 pounds. 20 prior to surgery and 4 since surgery.!!! I don't know if there are any watchers of the suite life of Zach and Cody ...but as London Tipton would say " Yeah, Me!!!

It's a weighty Issue

2008-08-26T13:07:00.004-04:00

Ive been debating whether or not to share this on the blog. Obviously I chose to! On Thursday I will be having Lap Band Surgery. It is a huge decision and one I didn't make lightly. It is weight loss surgery. Of all the weight loss surgeries, the lap band is the safest and has the least amount of risk. Also..the lap band is just a tool. I still have to do all the work and make all the right choices. The lap band in and of itself wont make you thin any more than a hammer will build a house. What I chose to eat, how much I exercise, and changing my lifestyle are all the things that will make me thin. I have struggled with my weight my whole life. I can remember my mother putting me on a diet when I was about 10. It has always been an issue. Several times in my life I have lost weight BUT I have never been able to keep it off. I think to me food is like an addiction. I eat when I am happy, I eat when I am sad, I eat when I am stressed, and I eat things I shouldn't. What I have come to realize over the past several years is that my weight effects EVERY area of my life. I hate being fat! I hate going places, I hate occasions where I have to dress up, I hate getting my picture taken. My weight seems intertwined with my self esteem. If asked to describe myself.....the first thing that comes to mind is fat. I know my kids and my husband love me unconditionally and I am thankful for that. But I want to have pictures of myself, I want to live a long, active and healthy life. I want to enjoy going out and doing things without fear of being judged because I am fat. Even though a times I am my own worst critic. I have had to do a lot of hoop jumping to get this surgery. There were insurance company requirements and there were requirements set forth by the surgeon. I was very anxious to get going and I did everything in record time. I also wanted to make sure John understood my reasons for doing this and he does. As in all I do, he is so supportive. So this Thursday is the big day. Wish me well on my journey to a healthier me. Following the surgery I will be on clear liquids for three days followed by protein shakes for 2 weeks. The I will go back to regular food.....without pasta, bread or any of the good stuff that got me in trouble! The good thing is the lap band allows you to eat A LOT less and feel not hungry. For any one that prays keep me in your prayers!

Why I Love My Husband

2008-08-20T08:38:00.005-04:00

My husband, knowing that I have been stressed out lately, created the most AWESOME surprise for me on Sunday evening. John asked me to find a babysitter on Sunday evening from 6pm-10pm. I asked him several times where we would be going and he said "no where". I said are we going out? and he said " yes and no" ! How's that for vague! John worked outside all day and the kids were giddy knowing there was a surprise underway.

So....what did John do?

He made room in the greenhouse........he set up a table and chairs for two. The table had a tablecloth and candles. He brought in a small portable grill for cooking. We had a CD player so we could listen to music and the table was surrounded by the beautiful flowers from the green house. The table was also surrounded by the lights my husband strung that day! What was on the menu you ask? Turkey burgers and Lobster tails...what a great treat! Our own romantic dinner, followed by dancing, followed by coffee and chocolate cake. It was such a special night. It reminded me of all the reasons I fell in love with John. It reminded me how impotant it is to reconnect with my husband. The kids were slightly annoyed that we were so close.....yet so far. John....I am so appreciative of all you do for me! You are not only the keeper of my heart but you are my very best friend and I love you.

Family Fun at The Fair

2008-08-08T18:19:00.002-04:00

We took a day off from our daily grind and headed to the county fair. We all had a good time and the kids enjoyed the rides! Check out John Jr's new glasses!

Who did What To Who??

2008-07-28T19:57:00.002-04:00

I really cant tell who did what but they were both pretty steamed at each other! I just love the faces!

Just pictures

2008-07-27T22:56:00.003-04:00

More SMore

2008-07-20T21:01:00.002-04:00

SMORES

2008-07-20T20:39:00.003-04:00

SMORES!! none of the kids ever had a smore and it was on their list of things to do this summer and one of the easier ones to accomplish! Little John is taking his smore making very serious!

Two sick girls.........

2008-07-20T20:32:00.001-04:00

Last week the girls were sick. They were both sleeping where ever they landed. Tori fell asleep laying on the coffee table. One minute Tori was playing and the next minute she was asleep on the table. As for Bella, she was playing in the laundry basket and then I guess she decided it was nap time! Luckily little John remained healthy and took total advantage of having mom all to himself while the girls rested!

July 3rd Is A Special Day For The Franco's

2008-07-02T11:36:00.002-04:00

I am posting now because I have time!! There are several things that are special about July 3rd. First off, It is my husband's birthday. So...Happy Birthday!! Birthday's are special enough in and of themselves but on John's birthday in 2005 we held Isabella for the first time! What an awesome birthday present...a beautiful daughter! Isabella you continue to amaze us and we love you more than you can ever imagine! Isabella's favorite book is "I Love You as Much" It is mothers mostly creatures describing how much they love their young. Each one starting out by saying I love you as much as....... On the last page is a mother and very young baby (humans!). Isabella says that is her and I. How I wish I had had the priveledge to hold her at such a young age! The last line of that book is " I love you as much as a mother could love". When Bella goes to bed at night she will say ..mom, I love you as much as the stars up above and then she will wait until I say....I love you as much as a mother could love. Bella has come such a long way in three years. And indeed I do love her as MUCH as a mother could love!

Ava and Tori

2008-06-26T19:20:00.000-04:00

Victoria Rae and Ava Rae

2008-06-26T18:58:00.002-04:00

I met Stacey in line while we were both doing our first Chinese adoption. We were talking about baby names and we both had picked the same middle name.....spelled the same way for our girls. The wait was L-O-N-G ( not by todays standards) and we communicated on line when ever. Then came SARS and again more waiting. Turns out we were with the same agency and had the same DTC date. So we knew we would travel together! We met Kevin and Stacey at LAX airport and immediately hit it off. The day we got our babies we were all exhausted and nobody met up for dinner. Bright and early the next morning we were off to breakfast with our new baby and stopped by Kevin and Stacey's room to see if they were ready. We sat Victoria on the bed next to Ava and the two babied hugged each other. It was very emotional. I asked our guide Peter and he said they could have shared a crib. We see them as often as possible and it always amazes me how Tori and Ava act.......like sisters. They clearly care for each other. We met up with them this week and as always it was awesome. The girls were on a couch in the lobby of a hotel and Ava was sitting and Tori was lying with her head on Ava'a lap, they were chatting and Ava was stroking Tori's hair....of course I couldnt get the camera out quick enough and by the time I snapped off a picture they were both laughing.....but Ill know what was going on when I look at that picture! Today was the day we got the girls referrals in 2003 ! How amazing for them to be together on this day! Happy referral day..Dana, Ann, Renee,Stacey, Pam,and Michele! We miss you all and hope to see you soon

I Lost My Camera and Some Mindless Chatter

2008-06-24T08:30:00.003-04:00

I have not been able to find my camera since we got back from Florida. I took some special pictures with friends we visited in North Carolina and am sad not to have them. Im unsure of how to use John's camera , and I miss my camera. So...Whats new you ask? 1. Tori lost her two bottom teeth. She is adoradle...hard to understand but adorable! 2. Bella turned 4 and she is a beautiful child with a beautiful spirit! It was worth the wait for her to trust us and love us! 3. John Jr. continues to be a live wire!! If there is trouble he will find it and if there is no trouble to be found he will invent some! 4. Tori and Bella have developed a beautiful relationship, it is not with out the occasional fighting but they are for the most part the best of friends! Tori has a full size bed and the girls initiated sleeping together a month ago. It warms my heart when they are all snuggled together when I check on them! 5. We are ALL enjoying summer. John put up a swing set and a pool and the kids are loving it. I am enjoying watching them play. The days are not long enough! So...summer is here! Enjoy Pictures soon

Mostly Bella

2008-05-16T22:46:00.002-04:00

Mostly Tori

2008-05-16T22:40:00.000-04:00

V-A-C-A-T-I-O-N!

2008-05-16T22:28:00.002-04:00

We have been on vacation since may 1, but I have had NO INTERNET ACCESS!! Talk about needing a fix......Anyway we spent 2 weeks in Florida and it was so awesome. I will blog later but for now I wanted to share some photos. In honor of bella's upcoming birthday we took her to the Bibbidi Bobbidi Boutique at the Magic Kingdom where they turn you into a princess. it was amazing to watch Bella light up. Tori got hair and make up but Bella got the full blown princess package and for good measure I will throw in some pictures of John. When we get home I have plenty of pictures! For now we all exhausted at a hotel in North Carolina. WE should be home o Sunday! See pictures below

Victoria Starts Tee Ball

2008-04-27T17:55:00.004-04:00

Tori started tee ball and she is getting the hang of batting and running to base. The first practice she was exhausted and was calling from short stop.....mom, can I be done now! But as the days went on she got used to it. The kids on the team are all very cute.

Pictures

2008-04-27T17:35:00.003-04:00

The kids always enjoy playing with their cousins. Bella and John watching the wiggles and doing a "waltz" of some kind! We have been running none stop. One night during dinner, John and I were talking and we looked over at Bella she was sound asleep!

2008-04-27T17:18:00.002-04:00

Things Have been very busy at the Franco house......hence......no blogging. First, we are getting ready to leave for Disney on Thursday!! It is a much needed vacation for the whole family. Im so looking forward to this trip. We are going to North Carolina for 2 days and then continuing on to Orlando. The kids are very excited!. Our first BIG drive. Nine hours to NC then 9 hours to Florida. Here is what's happening around here.

Tori was going for a root canal ( she has not so great teeth) the tooth couldnt be saved so they extracted it! Not how I planned for her first tooth experience!
Bella got a bee sting in the corner of her eye and developed cellulitis. Her eye was itchy and swollen and she was miserable!
The kids started swimming lessons once a week and it has been so much fun to watch them. hopefully they will use there new skills in Florida
Tori started tee ball and there is a game one day and practice two evenings a week!

These things dont sound like a lot of things but my days are jam packed! I am going to try to post some pictures tonight

How To Wake A Sleeping Daddy

2008-04-14T10:09:00.002-04:00

What A Cute Boy !!!!

2008-04-07T10:51:00.000-04:00

John Jr.

2008-04-05T18:43:00.002-04:00

Where to begin with John Jr? He is ADORABLE. Maybe I think so because he is my son, but I'm thinking he is just a cute boy. Around the Franco house......we say that is his saving grace. There is a reason God made him so adorable! He is all boy, all mischief, and ALWAYS in trouble. I sometimes wish he could get through one day with out making trouble. He is so jealous of the girls. Who after all this time are sisters and friends and I love that! John on the other hand he doesn't love it all that much. So he does things to spite them. Yesterday he snapped Hannah Montana's head off of Tori's doll. It is the ONLY doll she plays with and she was very upset. Bella has been drawing alot so today he broke all her crayons! Aside from that he is a very lovable, goofy boy. He repeats everything Bella says even if it doesn't make sense. Yesterday I asked Bella why she is always coloring......her answer "because I like too" I asked John why he broke Tori's doll.....his answer....."because I like too"! John's pediatrician has been trying to figure out his "real" birth date. Per China, he turned 4 this past December. His pediatrician has said all along....NO WAY! So we had some testing done last year and again this year. Per his bones, his teeth, and his development in general he turned 3 in November. Last year it showed he had just turned 2. I am thinking this is very accurate. We will have to change his birth date because he is so NOT ready school! John gets speech, physical therapy, and occupational therapy. He is one low tone boy. He is like Jello! His favorite shows are the upside down show and Diego. Personally I find Dora and Diego loud and annoying and I cannot wait for my children to outgrow them! As for the upside down show I enjoy Shane and David and I love to watch John interact with his pretend remote control! When John and I got home from China he was not very happy to meet the girls and realize that I have 2 other children. I still think he is not over that! Actually, I think he needs a brother! John loves to eat and eats everything except peas! He is VERY smart and he clearly understands everything we say. His eyes are looking really good. He may need more eye surgery in the future but it is good for now. I will attach some photos of my handsome boy!

For Monica

2008-04-02T14:42:00.003-04:00

I met Monica at my job right before I received my referral for Victoria. There was something about her spirit and her excitement about my adoption that made us friends. I don't know her all that well but yet, I feel like I've known her forever. She shared with me all my excitement and joy leading up to Victoria's referral, our wait to travel, and bringing her home! Shortly after we came home with Victoria we had a huge party. At that party Monica gave Victoria a gift. It was a pair of Pajamas with a VERY Chinese design on them. Victoria was 10 months old and the pajamas were a size 7 . The note with the pajamas said she had bought them on a vacation , they never got to their intended recipient........unless Victoria WAS the intended recipient. I never forgot that note, those pajamas, or Monica. Shortly after we came home from China we moved 3 hours away. Anyway.......in 5 months it will be 5 years since the pajamas and the note. I remember having a conversation with Monica and what she said was when Victoria fit into the pajamas send her a picture. So here you go.........MONICA....we all miss you!

Our Bella

2008-03-27T11:47:00.000-04:00

Isabella.....Whats New With Her?

2008-03-27T11:10:00.003-04:00

Isabella will be turning 4 in May. Where has the time gone? Isabella is my most amazing child. I have always thought that she suffered some kind of abuse at the orphanage. When we got Isabella she was totally shut down. That must be how she dealt with her situation before coming into our family. In addition to being shut down, she did not attach to us either. It was so so sad. She came to us at 14 months old and she did not eat solid food, she did not utter a sound, never cried, made very little eye contact and did not show emotion. To look at her today you would never know it. She is securely attached to me and John and so full of love that she blows me away. Everything was a struggle for her too...talking, learning, accepting love,playing, laughing. As Bella came out of her shell all things started to fall into place. She still struggles with so many different areas but she does things on her own schedule. She was just discharged from Occupational therapy and i believe she will be discharged from speech in June. Talking was very hard for her. At almost 2 1/2 she couldn't even say moo when she saw a cow. Now.......John and I just laugh as she tells us these big stories! She is full of words, sentences and ATTITUDE! She still has that protective side to her and I can actually see it when it is about to emerge. Its like she disconnects .She also gets special ed services because she is cognitively behind. She has made some big gains there too but she is still behind. Her special ed teacher does have concerns about her ability to learn to read and write. BUT....Bella has always done things when she was ready and not before. Bella recently was diagnosed with hypothyroidism. Since your thyroid function and brain development go hand in hand they are wondering if there is a correlation between her delay and her hypothyroid. I HATE the idea of Bella taking medicine everyday for the rest of her life! She also needs to lab work done every 3 months to make sure she is getting the right dose of medicine. She hates the lab work and I hate subjecting her to that. I was kind of in denial in the beginning thinking maybe the lab was wrong and maybe it would just turn itself around even though I know that doesn't happen. All that aside.....Bella is funny, loving and she can just melt my heart. Her strong will is something I envy in her and I hope she carries it around for life. Hopefully she will be starting preschool in the fall. She went for a few months this year but she wasn't quite ready yet. On the days she went she would be up crying all night up 6 or 7 times totally inconsolable. Otherwise she would be in bed with us. We did it for 4 months and nothing changed so we decided to for go preschool this year. Plus she had developed the hypothyroidism. Every child is different and I'm pretty certain that was what was best for her! She is VERY excited about our upcoming trip to Disney in May. She is a huge princess fan. I think Cinderella in her favorite! She still loves Dora though and is always pretty loyal to her! I am going to post some pictures of my beautiful girl!!

Easter Happenings

2008-03-24T11:19:00.002-04:00

Easter is one of my favorite holidays. I love what it stands for, I love that it is a sign that spring is usually on the way, I love that people dress up, and I love that my children understand (somewhat) that it is about more than the Easter bunny and chocolate. Our day started out wonderfully. There were baskets, laughter, an egg hunt, and some special family time together before daddy left for work! I dressed the kids and they looked awesome as you can see below! I was determined to get an early start. We sit in the same seat every Sunday at church. I want my same seat even if it is a holiday ! So, I like to go early. I am getting ready to take a few last minute pictures of the kids.......when I see it.........Isabella DREW all over her beautiful white dress while I was dressing John Jr!. I was trying not to freak out. I guess it didn't work. So now i have to change her. I was so ANGRY! So I did what any other mother would do....I changed her into another beautiful dress. One that she hates wearing. So if you think Isabella looks like she was crying in some of the pictures...she was. If you think that she is wearing two different dresses....she was. The rest of the day turned out really nice. We had dinner with a friend who's husband also was working.

Happy Easter

2008-03-24T11:10:00.000-04:00

Getting Ready For Easter

2008-03-22T16:51:00.004-04:00

In Memory of My Mom

2008-03-20T10:19:00.002-04:00

March 20, 2000 was the day my mom died. To say I miss her is an understatement. She was my mother, my friend, my biggest cheer leader and I was the light of her life. Even though she had five children, her and I shared a special bond. I dont have a picture of her on the computer, plus she HATED getting her picture taken....much like me. Although we were raised catholic, my mom was Jewish. In the Jewish Faith you light a candle at sundown the night before the anniversary of death as a way of remembering and honoring. I remember my mom lighting candles for her parents. Im always sad to light the candle and for the 24 hours that it burns I cry many times. Last night though was very different. Last night the kids were asking alot of questions too. Tori and Bella were very interested. Tori started to cry too. She said she missed her too and wondered if she was healthy and safe! I am sure where ever she is she is both! I do wish she could have met my children. She would have loved them so. When I graduated high school I gave my mom my yearbook to sign and she wrote and gave it back to me so quickly I was thinking wow that was fast. I though there would be big paragraphs and a lot of words. However the five words she wrote said it all " you light up my life". To say I miss her is an understatement!

100 Things About Me!

2008-03-13T13:26:00.002-04:00

I got this from my friend Ohilda's blog. I would link back to her but I cant figure out how. She has a very inspiring blog at http://www.deliveredfromheaven.blogspot.com/. I thought it would be fun to list 100 things about myself....So here it goes.

I cried while on a ride at the magic kingdom (not so long ago) Space Mountain!!
I am a homebody most of time but I love to go on family vacations
My favorite colors are pink and purple
I am a big country music fan and my favorite country singer is Randy Travis
My favorite album of all time is harry Connick Jr. When your heart finds Christmas and that is my all time favorite Christmas song.
I once had a night job and on Sun. would go right to church. I not only fell asleep one Sunday what woke me was the gentleman sitting next to me trying to get me off his shoulder!
I like crossword puzzles and playing scrabble. I love words
My favorite holiday is Christmas Eve. I love everything about this day. We bake, go to church, feast, family, tuck in the kids, read The Night Before Christmas, go to bed and wait for Santa
I always have a candle burning in my house
I don't like horror movies
I have trouble confronting people face to face, I have a wicked "poison pen" though
I do not like getting my picture taken
my two best perfumes are Delicious by DKNY and Escape by Calvin Klein
I have trouble saying no to people
I love Jack in the Box taco's. We don't have any in NY
I wish my kids had grandparents
I spend a lot of time on the computer. Checking out blogs of people with children from China
I don't like cats
Three little kids keep me super busy
I am a former smoker.....I quit 7 years ago....I HATE cigarette smoke
I am still afraid of the dark
My dream car....a GMC Acadia.....fully loaded
Don't mistake my kindness for weakness
I like to cook
I don't like going food shopping
I am a worrier
I believe everything happens for a reason...even if I don't know what the reason is
I hate to get up early in the morning
I still miss my mom who died 8 years ago and sometimes I think of her and still cry
I am a good person
I love to laugh so hard that I cry
I like playing board games with friends
I love to read and hope to pass my love of books on to my children
I would do anything for my husband and my kids
I have so many on line friends I'd love to meet
I wish my family got along better
I am always on a diet but don't lose much weight
I believe honesty is the best policy.....except if I have to reveal my weight
I am very sensitive and cry easy
I love spring time& I love the smell of soil being turned over
I am a good judge of character
I miss my friends from my last job on Long Island
I have a good sense of humor and like to make people laugh
I like going to hotels and I love room service
I have never roller skated
Favorite birthday cake: yellow cake with fresh banana's and real whip cream
I could talk to my kids for hours and never get board
I never had a big birthday party
I love shellfish....lobster, clams etc
I am good friend
I do not wear make up....never have
I wish I didn't have so many freckles on my face
I wish I could be more organized. I envy people who are super organized
I put the kids to bed at 7:15 so I can have some time to myself in the evening
my favorite book to read to Isabella is " I love you as much"
If you are standing behind me in line at walmart......it is none of your business if my kids are "real" brothers and sisters
I hate to be really hot during the summer
I helped save someone on an airplane three years ago on the way to Florida. American Airlines sent me a free ticket for helping
If Victoria's school bus is one minute late I start to panic.
I don't like to be away from my kids
I prefer to drink from a straw.
I like to cross stitch
people sometimes feel sorry for me that I never had birth children......don't because I don't. I wouldn't trade my three for anything. I am missing NOTHING. I feel sorry for them for not knowing the joy of adoption
I have not been to movies since before we brought Victoria home. John and I saw Freaky Friday the week before we went to China for the first time
I wish I could find a GOOD babysitter. Someone that could watch my kids during the day so I could run errands or go to appointments.
One day I dropped Bella off at preschool and the teacher came out chasing my car because I forgot something. I fully expected it to be my purse. When I turned around it was my son! I forgot John!
I love reality TV....Bachelor, American Idol, Dancing with the stars
I hide under the pillow if there is lightning and thunder
I love coffee and I love pumpkin spice coffee
I am not good at keeping secrets.
I am a Registered Nurse turned stay at home mom
I would like to be thin. I truly agree with the statement: you can never be too thin!
I feel I am falling behind technology wise. I don't have an ipod or any newer electronics
Most people with a 3, 4, and 5 year old are at least 15 years younger than me. I'd like friends my age with small children.
I am married to my best friend and we were best friends for along time before we started dating
I hope its God's plan for us to have one more son.
Nice matters!
I have no fashion sense!
I feel when we go out sometimes people judge me because I have 3 Chinese children.
I feel very fortunate to be able to be home with the children. My husband does an amazing job of taking care of his family.
I want to be able to give my children the things they want. But I want them to know the value of things too.
I am very excited about going to Florida in May.
I love to follow the weather and always know in advance if there is bad weather on the horizon
I still watch The Waltons and wish I lived during that time
Favorite movies: Overboard, For Richer or Poorer, The Santa Claus, Beauty and the Beast
I loved disney's High School Musical Movies! I and II
I love snow storms!
I was born on May 26, 1960
I married John on July 6, 1996
I love children's books illustrated by Eric Carle and so does Tori's Kindergarten teacher. Now Tori does too!
I would love to write a series of childrens books.....maybe someday I will!
Gymboree is my favorite place to shop for kids clothing
I have 15 nieces and nephews
I am not a risk taker and err on the side of caution
My heart breaks for China's children left behind, especially the special needs
I pray everyday
I function best when under stress
I remember everything
I love the smell of steak on a BBQ
I LOVE BEING A MOMMY TO TORI, BELLA, and JOHN JR.

All About Victoria

2008-03-12T09:55:00.000-04:00

I decided to do Victoria's update because she is the oldest. So...Whats new with Victoria??? In August Victoria had her tonsils out. Her tonsils were HUGE. The surgeon said he should have charged by the pound! Her big tonsils caused her to have sleep apnea where she would have periods of NO BREATHING in the night. She was also always very tired. It has all worked out great. She sleeps good, wakes up well rested and is not too tired during the day. Victoria started Kindergarten in Sept. She is an awesome student, loves school, and idolizes her teacher! She has reminded us several times that her teacher is a very wise woman. Victoria loves adults and enjoys talking to grown ups. Adults seem to gravitate toward her too. Victoria loves anything to do with coloring, cutting, glueing, and pasting. She spends hours drawing pictures and telling stories about her pictures. I will leave you with a story: During sunday school Victoria's teacher was talking about how people in the community help each other and they talked about various professions. The teacher went around the class asking what everyone wanted to be. They apparently had a nurse, a few doctors, a fireman........when it was Victoria's turn she told her teacher she would like to be a princess!! Glad she has such high aspirations! Victoria is growing up so fast, it makes me a little sad. Sometimes I look at her and see the same little baby face I remember from China. Then the phone rings and it is not for me and John but it is friend calling for her. Then I remember how fast life passes. So I try to enjoy our special moments together. I suppose there will come a time when she will not want to cuddle in my bed with me and watch her favorite movie, or hold my hand as we walk through the store. But for know I am enjoying my growing girl!!

Trying To Upload Photos

2008-03-09T19:42:00.000-04:00

Here are some pictures of the kids from December! In the coming months I hope to keep more current.

Hello World!

2008-03-09T18:46:00.000-04:00

Well, I have finally done it! I have been wanting to get blogging but just havent had the time. Being a mom to three children under 6 has kept me hopping. I have been inspired by my friends Sandra, Karen, and Sharie. All of whom we traveled to China with. It will be a good way to keep up with friends and family and show off my beautiful family! Since this is my first post I have not figured out the picture thing yet. Thats a job for when the kids are sleeping. So hopefully i will figure out what Im doing with in the next week and post some pictures.