It's a weighty Issue

Ive been debating whether or not to share this on the blog. Obviously I chose to! On Thursday I will be having Lap Band Surgery. It is a huge decision and one I didn't make lightly. It is weight loss surgery. Of all the weight loss surgeries, the lap band is the safest and has the least amount of risk. Also..the lap band is just a tool. I still have to do all the work and make all the right choices. The lap band in and of itself wont make you thin any more than a hammer will build a house. What I chose to eat, how much I exercise, and changing my lifestyle are all the things that will make me thin. I have struggled with my weight my whole life. I can remember my mother putting me on a diet when I was about 10. It has always been an issue. Several times in my life I have lost weight BUT I have never been able to keep it off. I think to me food is like an addiction. I eat when I am happy, I eat when I am sad, I eat when I am stressed, and I eat things I shouldn't. What I have come to realize over the past several years is that my weight effects EVERY area of my life. I hate being fat! I hate going places, I hate occasions where I have to dress up, I hate getting my picture taken. My weight seems intertwined with my self esteem. If asked to describe myself.....the first thing that comes to mind is fat. I know my kids and my husband love me unconditionally and I am thankful for that. But I want to have pictures of myself, I want to live a long, active and healthy life. I want to enjoy going out and doing things without fear of being judged because I am fat. Even though a times I am my own worst critic. I have had to do a lot of hoop jumping to get this surgery. There were insurance company requirements and there were requirements set forth by the surgeon. I was very anxious to get going and I did everything in record time. I also wanted to make sure John understood my reasons for doing this and he does. As in all I do, he is so supportive. So this Thursday is the big day. Wish me well on my journey to a healthier me. Following the surgery I will be on clear liquids for three days followed by protein shakes for 2 weeks. The I will go back to regular food.....without pasta, bread or any of the good stuff that got me in trouble! The good thing is the lap band allows you to eat A LOT less and feel not hungry. For any one that prays keep me in your prayers!